You are as black and sleek and dangerous as an oil slick
And almost as much of an ecological disaster to the small birds and beasts of the garden.
You commit murder on a daily basis,
You take huge pleasure in breaking small bodies
Which is equalled by your bloodless detachment at their fate.
You are clean and efficient.
Yet once, I saw you with red on your crisp white paws
And I was shocked.
But you didn't need all the perfumes of Arabia to wash you clean,
Just your velcro-hooked tongue.
You have been kidnapped by trees.
And developed as a result a grudging respect for human-kind
as a species which can climb them in both directions.
Claudette, you are not a cuddly cat
But your manners are impeccable.
You never bite or scratch
And you allow small children to pick you up without complaint.
Because it would be uncool to fuss.
And sometimes you leap onto the narrow back of my chair, or my keyboard,
And I am so honoured I forget to throw you off.
Claudette, you are not a big cat,
But you have an ego the size of Hampshire.
You are a Feline With Attitude.