Everybody's got a FAQ. It's the height of bad manners not to have a FAQ. You'd feel deprived if there wasn't a Mudshark FAQ, wouldn't you? Well, tough, here it is anyway....

So what's a Mudshark when it's at home then?

It's a Shark which lives in the Mud, for goodness sake! Are you illiterate, or what? It's also a good excuse to get leglessly drunk and trash restaurants.

Aren't you a bit old for that sort of thing?

Oh shut up! Who asked you?

Know any good restaurants?

And then some!! However, in the entire history of The Grand and Loyal Order of Mudharks, only one restaurant has ever attained the mythical "five fin" rating - The Ramore Restaurant in Port Rush, Northern Ireland. (There's a wine bar downstairs too!) Anyone aspiring to Mudsharkdom must make a pilgrimage to this sacred place at least once in his/her/its lifetime. And quit whingeing about how far it is - Is it my fault you live in Outer Mongolia??

So what did happen to Alan Jamieson then?

Search me! You could try looking for him at ExMudshark@avoidingdubiouspast...

I don't drink. What should I do?

I have no idea, but whatever it is, it can only improve matters! Just don't do it round here, OK?

How do you feel about vegetarians?

We'll eat anything!

Can we have the Apres Binge at your house?

Not Bloody Likely! Now push off, and don't come back until you've dropped a pavement pizza or two...

Er.... is there, like, any way outta here?